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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654845">lost my mind (saving what couldn't be saved)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElocinPax/pseuds/ElocinPax'>ElocinPax</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DreamSMP, mcyt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Dead Wilbur Soot, DreamSMP - Freeform, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, Mentions of other members of the SMP, Minecraft, Niki cries too, Phil is tired, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc. - Freeform, Techno regrets, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit Friendship, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit centric, Tommys like fuck you bitch, Tubbo Cries, Wilbur dead as hell tho, guess whos procrastinating college, im the bitch, it me, lol, tommy tubbo and niki leave, what kinda bitch would do that???</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:07:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElocinPax/pseuds/ElocinPax</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You wanna be a hero Tommy? Then die like one."</p>
<p>Funny. Truly the best joke Tommy's ever heard.</p>
<p>Thing is, he never wanted to be a hero. Never said he was one.</p>
<p>He was just a boy who wanted his home back. He didn't want the blood on his hands and didn't expect the wreckage that came with it. And now, he stands before his brother, death waiting to welcome him with open arms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niki | Nihachu &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Niki | Nihachu &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, TommyInnit &amp;Toby Smith | Tubbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>366</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lost my mind (saving what couldn't be saved)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>takes place when techno does his whole monologue before the withers</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“No, Techno, you’re wrong,” Tommy gazes at his brother with dull eyes. The wind picks up as the Withers that were spawned begin to take form,”I never wanted to be a hero.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks until the tips of his shoes are over the edge of the crater beneath them. The wind pulls at his body, urging him towards the giant hole and Tommy almost gives in. Almost lets it pull him to jump and end this even though he knows he’ll only be respawned. He wants that small escape of silence. That deathly calmness of nothing, of being nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <strike>
    <em>
      <span>He’s bruised, hurt, confused, and tired - so so so tired. HIs body feels like lead, like a puppet with no strings</span>
    </em>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <span> He looks into the pig mask, a bitter smile on his face,”All I wanted was a home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s yelling on both sides ridden with panic and manic laughter as the skeletal forms of the Withers become visible. The familiar shout of Phil - </span>
  <em>
    <span>his dad. Dad’s here, when did he get here? - </span>
  </em>
  <span>echoes in the field but Tommy keeps his focus on the man before him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>”I wanted my home back. The home that we built from dirt and made into something beautiful we could call ours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno’s mask betrays nothing, the stockstill expression of that damned pig staring back into Tommy’s eyes. Tommy takes a deep breath, his nose burning from the smoke and gunpowder lingering in the air. When he speaks, his voice is raspy, rough, and it hurts so much to talk but he needs to make them understand. Needs Dream who lives for the blood and death caused by his hands, Wilbur who was driven to insanity and died by the hands of their father, Techno who revels in the chaos and havoc he creates, to fucking understand his pain. Needs all the bystanders on their side that just let it happen to feel his misery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You took that from us. From me. Wilbur lost himself until he had nothing else to give. Niki and Tubbo were forced to stand by the side of someone who abused his power and his people.” Tommy waves his hand towards Techno’s direction, voice getting louder and harsher as the Withers begin to descend in the air,”We suffered from the consequences of war. Died and respawned back into hell - all because what!? You wanted chaos!? You wanted the destruction and death!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy laughs dryly, ugly and cold, sees the way Techno twitches at the sound.”Well you’ve got it. You’ve got your chaos. You’ve got your fill of it all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels Tubbo come close to him from behind, nervous and scared, but unwilling to move from Tommy’s side even as the Withers above them all, pulse and shudder, their jaws clicking rhythmically. “You couldn’t just leave us alone when we wanted peace and dependence,” he feels as Niki also comes to stand behind him, her whisper of his name so quiet that it gets swept by the wind. “We have nothing to lose anymore. There’s nothing left for us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo and Niki. The only people he could trust. The only ones who haven’t left him or betrayed him, hurt him. Sure there was Quackity, Fundy, and the others but honestly? He wouldn’t trust them as far as he could throw them. They picked whatever side benefited them best. They lie easily, conforming themselves into what the person they were manipulating needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What about Phil?</span>
  </em>
  <span> A voice asks in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What about the man? Tommy snarls back. Wilbur, Techno, both his family who chose anarchy and death over him. Both who lied and hurt and crushed him. Phil may be his father, may be the man who sheltered him and raised him, but Tommy will be damned if he even believes for a second that the man wouldn’t choose Wilbur and Techno over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. He had all he needed. The last two people that mattered now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted this, yeah? So I say let there be blood, </span>
  <em>
    <span>brother</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Techno jerks at the acidity tone like he’s been punched, hands gripping his crossbow tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a brief moment of silence. Everything pauses and the air is still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is, blood for the Blood God.” Tubbo and Niki inhale sharply and Tommy can see the way Techno freezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the Withers bellow with a jarring roar full of vengeance for everything and nothing. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>LMAO</p>
<p>how was it?<br/>was the angst good for you guys??<br/>i hope so because its currently 5:16 am and ive been writing this since 1 am so theres def typos lol</p>
<p>kudos and comments are appreciated</p></blockquote></div></div>
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